I forgot to schedule this post. When I was making my 3 month plan of recipes and blog posts, I forgot to schedule in my Mom’s anniversary post.
I mean I’ve been thinking about my Mom’s 12 year anniversary for months, and coming up with absolutely nothing special enough to represent 12 years without my Mom. So, I pushed it to the back of my brain. I didn’t cry on Mother’s Day but I clearly remember sitting in bed the day before, bawling my eyes out. It was SBean’s Highlights Gala and I was missing it. Again. I always think, all of this would be better if my Mom was here. I know that isn’t true, my therapist keeps reminding me that I’ve created a false narrative around this and everything in my life would be the same, even if she was still here. Which is 100% true, I get it, everything would be exactly the same… except at least I would be able to get a hug, her hug, that I haven’t had in 12 years.
12 Years. 144 months. 4380 days. 105 192 hours. 6 311 520 minutes.
This year I started going to therapy. I’m trying to work on that angry defensive kid that still lives inside my messed up head. My Mom and I had a complicated relationship and as I learn more about myself, I also learn more about her. She was an amazing, strong, smart, funny, and resilient woman. I can only imagine how much more amazing she would have been if she would’ve healed her angry child within as well. Mom would’ve been good at therapy lol just like she was good at everything else. One time my therapist told me I get to choose how I remember my Mom and that really flipped a switch in me. I cried for two days straight, lol but then I realized, she is right, I get to choose what memories to let in and when to let them in. Wow! Mind blowing.
On Mother’s Day we went out for brunch and afterwards I wanted a few pictures, lol of course I did. So, I pointed to the gate in front of the patio and said “over there will do!” HBear looked horrified. “Mom you can’t go in there! You can’t stand in front of the gate!” “Oh bosh”. I said. And there it was. I was the teenager and my Mom was doing whatever the hell she wanted (within law and reason lol) as I sat aghast and she just smiled and said, “oh bosh.”
Sometimes it still knocks the air out of me. The reality of it. The finality. Sometimes it just hits me out of nowhere, this is real. This will always be real. Losing my Nana and my Mom so close together is hard. It’s like all the stories, memories, and answers were sucked into a black hole and they’re just… gone.
My Mom used to think that I thought I knew everything. But that’s not true. My Mom had all the answers. SHE knew everything. Now that I’m older, I know a lot of what she told me off the top of her head was completely false lol but I never knew that because she always had an answer. For everything. Me? I don’t know anything. Zero, Nada, zilch. And now she’s gone and so are all the answers.
A friend sent me a video of Nicole Kidman talking about losing her Mom and she said something that really resonated with me. Not only did my Mom know everything about everything, my Mom KNEW everything about ME. She wasn’t an expert in many things, but she was definitely an expert in, Kristin. She had a map, as Taylor would say, to all the bodies I had buried lol. There’s something to be said for a person that knows everything about you, since the moment you opened your eyes to the moment she closed hers, and still loved you anyways. Every secret shame, every regret, and everything in between, she knew and now she is gone and some of the relief I felt from sharing those burdens, is gone with her. I think over the last few years I’ve really struggled with this new identity that a chronic illness has given me on top of losing the identity of who I was, through her eyes, the person that knew… Everything.
I used to be mad at my Mom, actually, I think I am still mad at my Mom lol about a lot of things actually lol but this one thing in particular. My Mom sent letters or cards to different women that meant something to her throughout her life. She didn’t send one to my Sis or I though. I mean, she wrote her own eulogy, which included us so I guess that was her way of saying goodbye. I guess I just get greedy because I can’t make fresh memories with her anymore. I guess I just wish I had that. I read a book recently, a memoir about a woman who lost her mother to cancer at a young age. Her mother left her and her brother years worth of gifts and letters to help her children throughout their lives without her. It was a wonderful book and I’d like to share it with you.
Did I Ever Tell You? By Genevieve Kingston Question – a book with a question in the title. This is a memoir that hit me in all my feels. Genevieve’s mother dies of cancer when she is 11 years old. As she reflects on her mother‘s battle with cancer, her words made me remember some of those same feelings and observations in my mom‘s own battle with cancer. I remember going away for a weekend and wanting to be home so badly and vowing to myself that I would never leave her again. Gwen‘s mom prepares for her death by making chests for her daughter and son filled with letters, cassette tapes, presents, and advice for all the birthdays she was going to miss. The first period, first date, and engagement that she would miss. In one of the cassette recordings she made for her kids she says “I am trying to be with you in spirit in an unknown in future.“ I believe that’s what I am trying to do every June 20, on her anniversary. Trying to keep her spirit alive, in a future without her. Guinevere‘s mother left her a trail to help her and guide her towards her future while I leave a trail of breadcrumbs to remind people who my mom was.
I say my mom‘s name a lot out loud. Mom. Lol just joking, but sometimes I’m not lol sometimes I write Mom in the steam of the shower door. I say, Kathy just to put it out there in the wind. She can’t be forgotten if her name is put out there
When I think of a dozen I think of doughnuts. I definitely don’t think that it has been a dozen years since I’ve heard my mom‘s voice… Her laugh.
On June 20, we spread love through our community in Mom‘s name. My Mom, Kathy Castle, loved doughnuts and had a great respect for our public education system. HBear and I spread community kindness by delivering a dozen doughnuts to each of the 6 school administrations that have played such an important part in HBear and SBean’s lives over the last 12 years.
12 years. I miss you every day. 💛
L. O. V. E. Mommies
Canada Day has been weird for the past few years. Ever since the discovery of the Residential School gravesite in Kamloops, it has been hard to get behind Canada. This year feels different. This year feels like the whole country has come together and wants to celebrate Team Canada! To help you celebrate 158 years of being Canada, these are a few of my favourite Canadian treats!
This shouldn’t even count as a recipe. My French family will disown me when they see this LOL. This is how we (not Canadians per se lol but MY family) make Easy Poutine when we are craving this delicious comfort dish that is the ultimate guilty pleasure. Don’t get me wrong, the BEST (in my opinion) poutine is made with PEI potatoes cut into thick fries and deep fried with a rich gravy made with Alberta AAA beef drippings and the freshest squeaky cheese from our Armstrong BC Dairy. DROOL! I mean, this will do in a pinch, like SBean will eat McDonalds poutine and I will even use shredded cheese if we are out of curds… but I don’t call that poutine, then it is just fries with gravy and cheese lol. I’m not THAT west coast lol.
The thing I love about Canadian food is that we take a little from ALL the different cultures that we are lucky enough to have live in our great country. We feel like where you and your ancestors came from is a strength and we encourage people to share there customs and their, food! Ginger Beef is a Canadianized version of an old beef stir fry dish from northeast China. In the 1970s, restauranteurs in Calgary altered the dish to suit Canadian tastes and one of my favourite dishes was born!
Ninja LOVES Montreal Steak Spice. I do too but Ninja LOVES it. This spice blend is based on the pickling spices of Eastern European and Jewish cuisine. The spice blend also goes by the names Canadian Steak Spice and Canadian Steak Seasoning. This spice blend can be added to any meat. I love it in a marinade and added to BBQ chicken too. I have included the ingredients to make the blend AND the directions on how to make a marinade with this yummy spice blend.
Mmmmm Caesar. That’s how the receipt at my favourite Winnipeg Sunday lounge, The Round Table, used to print up my order on Sunday Caesar nights LOL. Is there a more perfect drink out there than the Classic Canadian Caesar? No. The Caesar was invented in 1969, in Calgary, by the restaurant manager of what is now, the Westin Hotel. It is similar to a Bloody Mary but is spicier and well, we use clam juice (don’t ask, just drink lol) It is perfect in the morning with brunch, is fabulous before dinner as a appetizer (hello garnish!!) and the perfect end of the night drink or the perfect drink to have on a break before you rally and keep going LOL!
HBear’s favourite treat as a young child was puffed wheat. Just plain, dry puffed wheat. I used to have little containers of puffed wheat in every bag to give her for snack time. As she got older, we would go to the Penticton Farmer’s Market every Saturday morning and she would get a Chocolate Puff Wheat Square. I was hard to go back to plain puffed wheat after that! LOL. Now, I make them for her lunch and she still loves them just as much as she did when she was little! This classic Canadian treat was invented in Red Deer in a candy shop called A.J. Russell and is just as popular in Canada as rice crispy treats are in The States. FYI Did you know Canadians are the only people in the world that call the USA, The States? It’s true, the colloquial term is only used by America’s neighbours to the north. Huh!
Becoming a Matriarch by Helen Knott About grief or a grieving character & a bestselling memoir. This is a Canadian memoir that reads like a novel. A beautiful lyrical novel that is so vivid in its storytelling that you can see the pictures that the words describe. I love how she describes belonging to the people, specifically the women of her family. I live in BC and I learned SO much about my province from this book, especially about northern BC. I love how she describes the land, the mountains and the water. I lost my Nana and my Mom in 2013, a few months a part from each other. My Nana suffered from Alzheimers. I REALLY felt this book and the need to preserve family history, to be the memory keeper. This book hit hard, it made me cry and it made me think.
Easy Poutine
4
servings5
minutes10
minutesIngredients
1 bag classic French fries
1 packet poutine gravy
1 bag fresh cheese curds
Directions
Bake or air fry fries according to directions.
Make gravy according to directions on packet.
Place crispy fries on a plate. Sprinkle cheese curds over the fries. Pour gravy over cheese and fries.
- Directions Step
Ginger Beef
4
servings15
minutes15
minutesIngredients
1 lb top sirloin, partially frozen
2 tablespoons soy sauce
1 tablespoon rice wine
2 teaspoons sugar
1 egg white
1/4 cup water
1/4 cup cornstarch
1/4 cup flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
3 green onions, finely chopped
2 tablespoons ginger, minced
2-3 cloves garlic, minced
1 red bell pepper, julienned
1 carrot, julienned
- Sauce
1/4 cup water or chicken stock
1/4 cup soy sauce
2 tablespoons rice wine vinegar
2 tablespoons rice wine
2 teaspoons sesame oil
1/4 cup sugar
1 tablespoon cornstarch
Directions
Slice the beef into thin strips. Add the beef, 2 tablespoons soy sauce, 1 tablespoon rice wine, and 2 teaspoons sugar to a bowl and toss to coat. Refrigerate for at least 30 minutes.
Beat the egg white with the water, and then stir in the cornstarch, flour and salt until smooth. Set the batter aside.
Stir together the ingredients for the sauce.
Heat 2 to 3 cups of vegetable oil in a wok over medium-high flame.
Mix the batter into the beef strips. Drop 1/3 of the beef into the hot oil and deep fry until browned and crispy, 3 to 4 minutes. Remove with a slotted spoon to a paper towel-lined plate. Repeat with the remaining beef, deep frying it in batches.
Pour out all but 2 or 3 tablespoons of the oil (the oil can be strained and used again) and return to medium-high heat. Add the green onions, ginger and garlic and stir fry for about 1 minute, taking care not to burn it. Add the peppers and carrots and continue stir frying until cooked through but still crunchy.
Reduce heat to medium-low. Give the sauce a big stir to mix in the cornstarch and pour into the wok. Toss together with the vegetables and cook until the sauce is heated through and lightly thickened.
Add the beef and toss to coat. Serve over rice.
Montreal Steak Spice
3/4
cup5
minutesIngredients
2 tablespoons paprika
2 tablespoons black peppercorns. ground
2 tablespoons kosher salt
2 tablespoons garlic powder
1 tablespoon onion powder
1 tablespoon ground coriander
1 tablespoon dill seed or dill weed
1 tablespoon red chili flakes
Directions
In a small bowl, combine paprika, pepper, salt, garlic, onion, coriander, dill, and crushed red pepper. Store in an airtight container.
To make a marinade for 2 pounds of steak, chicken, or pork, whisk together ½ cup olive oil, ¼ cup soy sauce, and 4 teaspoons seasoning. Marinade at room temperature for 30 minutes or in the refrigerator for up to 1 hour. Pat meat dry before cooking.
Caesar
1
serving5
minutesIngredients
1 oz Vodka
4 oz Mott's Clamato Juice
2 dashes Tabasco Sauce
4 dashes Worcestershire sauce
3 dashes salt
3 dashes pepper
Garnish: celery stalk, pepperoni stick, peperoncini, and seasoning salt for rim.
Directions
Fill a tall glass with ice and then add in the Clamato, vodka, Tabasco, Worcestershire sauce, salt and pepper.
Garnish with a celery stalk, a peperoncini, and a pepperoni stick.
Chocolate Puff Wheat Squares
12
squares5
minutes5
minutes60
minutesIngredients
2/3 cup butter
2/3 cup corn syrup
1 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup cocoa powder
9 cups puffed wheat cereal
Directions
Grease a 9x13 inch baking pan.
Add the butter, corn syrup, brown sugar and cocoa powder to a large sauce pan over low-medium heat.
Melt everything together while stirring gently.
Bring the mixture to a gently boil for 1 minute, then remove from the heat.
Add puffed wheat cereal to a large mixing bowl. Pour chocolate mixture over the puffed wheat.
Spoon the chocolate cereal into the prepared pan and press down. Allow to firm up at room temperature for 60 minutes, then cut into bars.
Check out How Was Your Week, Honey? Episode #432 Dave. This week, we get together at the end of the school year to discuss: more social media, Sydney graduates, dance finale, on line IRL, shaving, Mom’s anniversary, SOW, and war.
Thank you to A Pinch of Joy and My Wee Abode and Shelbee on the Edge for featuring my June: 7 Day Meal Plan at their Link Parties.
What. A. Week.
Oliver cut his paw 🥲, HBear had her dance finale, SBean did AMAZING at her final piano recital of the year, we had the last day of school for both Kids, end of the year field trip at Locolanding for SBean, Mom’s 12th anniversary, HBear went on her annual car show and out for dinner date with Papa, and SBean went to SweetP’s birthday party and cherry picking, while also getting Grandma to shorten her gown to get ready for middle school Grad coming up this week.
14 thoughts on “Mom’s 12 Year Anniversary & Canada Day Treats”
Oh that Ginger Beef looks absolutely amazing, I am definitely going to have to try it sometime soon! Stopping in from the For Love To link up party and had to leave a comment. Have a wonderful weekend, and I hope you stop in and visit sometime!
Love me some Ginger Beef! I will definitely check out your travel posts, thanks for stopping by!
WOW, that beef does look scrumdillyumptious. Thank you for sharing and participating at SSPS 366. See you at #367
Better than takeout! Lol thanks for having me, see you next week!
Wow, what a post! I understand the finality of death, and I feel your pain. The chapters of your life with your mom are over, and that is a loss. But the newer chapters have a growing child, and that is a blessing! Keep working with your therapist, but also embrace the joy that is here with you now. Start with your daughter’s smile! And look in the mirror and give yourself a smile as well. I’m going to check out that book, btw.
Thank you for your kind words. Yes my kids are a blessing and the time I had with my mom was too. I appreciate your comments. I hope you enjoy the book as much as I did.
What a beautiful tribute to your mom and how her legacy is living on in you and in your daughter. The book looks like a poignant one too.
So I grew up in Calgary and knew the lore of the Bloody Caesar, though I’ve never had one. LOL Anyway, imagine my surprise upon moving to The States (I still call it that) and nobody knows about Puffed Wheat Squares here. What?!? I mean, good luck even finding plain puffed wheat in a grocery store! Thank you for validating me that it is a real thing and for me, tied to memories of my Grandma. Poutine is on our Canada Day menu here in Ohio too.
Visiting from Bookwork Monthly today. Happy Canada Day!
Ha Ha Amazing! I’m so happy to hear how you spend Canada Day in “The States” LOL. Thank you so much for stopping by and commenting, you certainly made me smile!
Losing your Mum is so hard isn’t it. That’s not a question, it’s a fact. I lost mine 15 years ago, on Christmas day. I lost my dad 50 years ago just before my birthday. Anniversaries are cruel but I speak their names a lot (and not only because I gave them to my children as middle names!) That sounds like a very interesting book. I like that you had donuts, we had them on the 30th for my daughter who doesn’t like cake. (Who doesn’t like cake? sigh!)
Pingback: Share Your Style #459
I don’t think we really ever get over losing our parents. I had a friend back when I was in a tea group in California and she was in her 70’s then. Her mom had died years before then (this was around 2010) and she said she missed her even more! My mother and I weren’t always that close but what I still remember to this day is when she was in hospice, I came over to give her a hug and as we touched foreheads, she looked up at me with her hazel-green eyes and I knew I had always been loved. That was what I needed. <3
Happy to have shared your post this past week for SYS #459. Okay, now tears… 🙂 And pinned, like always. <3
Barb 🙂
You made me cry! I know that feeling well. Thank you for sharing your story and thank you for sharing my post. See you next week.
Did I Ever Tell You? sounds like a heartbreaking memoir. :[ Adding it to my TBR though because it definitely sounds like a good read.
Thank you for linking up at My Month Is Booked!
It was a pretty emotional read, definitely 5 stars for me. I hope you enjoy it.