I love party planning. In fact, I kinda thought that later on in my life, in my 6th-8th career move 😜 that I would actually become an event planner/organizer. I like the details. The personal touches. I visualize the entire event and plan for any unforeseen circumstances. Perhaps torrential rain on our wedding day was the impetus for my love of plan A…B… and C 🤣? Whether I’m planning a dinner for 6 or 12, I plan out my shopping lists, my serving dishes, the decor and the music playlist. I run the timing through my head before bed every night. I polish my forks and buff out any water spots on my wine glasses. To some people that may sound boring, even obnoxious😂 but not to me. It’s my language of love! I love the little things that show the people I love how much they mean to me.
Enter MS.
This weekend we celebrated Ninja’s 47th birthday! I knew I wasn’t ready to try golfing 18 holes, which is something I know Ninja LOVES to do so I suggested he go with his parents and our BIL. He agreed but lamented that golf is a sport that we have always enjoyed together. Hopefully I will be able to tackle a round again but not yet, I’m still learning my boundaries and my limitations. I asked my Sis and my Dad to help me prepare a BBQ for the Birthday Boy after their round and they happily agreed! I am so incredibly thankful that I have such a strong support system around me 💛.
Ninja’s day went wonderfully. They had a great golf round despite the drunk loudmouth behind them shouting obscenities at them, yeah that happened 😳😆. While they were out I hung out with the Girls. Dad and J moved tables around in the backyard to make room for dinner for 12 and later my Dad & Sis ran out to pick up the items I forgot. Yeah that happened too. I have trouble seeing the big picture now. Visualizing the details like timing and having a bag on hand to husk the cobs of corn 😒. Normally I think of a butter knife, starting the bread, and making sure coffee is prepped. Not this time. Especially with distractions like conversations! Topped with a glass of wine? 😬🤪
Every single thing that I do now is more complicated, harder.
That is so frustrating.
Everything ran smoothly. Would it have run even more smoothly if I was the conductor orchestrating the evening? Probably 😆 but the genuine joy I get from planning, executing, and curating a birthday celebration is gone. I tried to get involved a few times but I just made it harder for everyone who wants to let me help about as much as they want a 3 year old to help break eggs. 😳 So I backed off. Another thing that I love feels like it was taken from me. The thing I look forward to doing, planning is being taken away from me.
I hope my energy begins to bounce back. I hope all of the brain booster games and puzzles I have been doing helps my brain fog. I hope that in the future I can enjoy dinner, drinks, and a fire with my family on a Saturday evening and be able to get up and move the next day and not have to lay in bed and recuperate. I don’t want to complain because people feel the need to cheer me up (and then I feel guilty for feeling the way I do) or advise me that all I need to do is accept it. On a completely logical level, I have. I get it. I have MS. I have completely accepted that. However, how do I change my language of love? Aren’t I ALLOWED to feel sadness and anger about all the things that have been taken from me? Can’t I feel annoyed that I am no longer able to golf? Party plan? Celebrate my Husband without taking a nap? It isn’t about accepting it’s about trying to figure out how I can still have these things in my life in some shape or form at the same time as having MS.
Happy birthday Ninja! I’m so glad that you had a wonderful day! I hope next year I am able to plan and execute another wonderful day to celebrate another amazing year of YOU! 😘
My favourite instant ramen noodles are Sapporo Ichiban chow mien noodles. Yaki Soba. In our house we called them, Papa Noodles because that’s my dads go to meal 😆. I’m going to be completely honest, I would even eat Mr. Noodles! I am a huge ramen noodle fan despite the sodium and the lack of nutrition! I’m always on the lookout for new ramen recipes! This one will be one of our favourites for sure! Can you go wrong with peanuts and ramen? No. The answer is no! This is a super simple dish that is filling and fantastic for leftovers the next day!
Adapted from Urban Bliss Life ¼-1 teaspoon chili garlic sauce (or more if you like)
¼ cup low sodium soy sauce
1 tablespoon sesame oil
¼ cup brown sugar, packed
1 tablespoon peanut oil
1 pound ground pork
1 tablespoon ginger, grated
2 packages ramen noodles (discard the flavour packets)
2 tablespoons chives, chopped
¼ cup peanuts
1 tablespoon peanuts, chopped
Mix the chili garlic sauce, soy sauce, sesame oil, and brown sugar until well combined. Set aside.
Heat oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Add pork and ginger, cook until the pork is browned.
Cook ramen noodles in a large pot according to the package instructions.
Once the pork is cooked, add the sauce and the ¼ cup peanuts. Stir well and cook for another 3-4 minutes.
Drain noodles and add to the skillet with pork and peanuts. Gently toss all together to coat the noodles.
