When I woke up the other morning, I was exhausted. I always know it’s going to be a rough day when I am tired before I leave bed. I don’t think tired is the correct word though. I know tired. I was a university student for 8 years. I worked overnights, took a full course load and had an evening job. I know tired. I had 2 babies and breast-fed exclusively, I know tired. This. This isn’t tired. Fatigue is no joke! Ninja can always tell when it’s a rough day by my eyes. They get puffy and watery. I told him I would push through because it’s my last week before the holiday and I want to leave all my clients with clean homes for the holidays! When I got home after work I sat down and I quickly realized that I needed to lay down. When I woke up 3 hours later, the first thing I felt was, guilt. 2 weeks before Christmas and I’m sleeping! There’s so much to do! I got my phone and I saw that I had a message. It read…
Hope you are feeling okay today! Just wanted to reach out and say that ‘you are killing it’ Kristin! I know it’s hard with a chronic illness, raising kids and trying to work. I am proud of you. Thought you like many could use a little word of ‘encouragement’ Decembers are hard in general. Let alone for us, Moms behind the scenes trying hard to make it happen despite (everything) WE are dealing with 💋
It has been exactly 1 year since I had my first noticeable symptom of MS. Now that I look back, there were more but it wasn’t until Dec 20, 2021 when I had my first MS hug, that I knew something was wrong. I was on my way to my PSBesty’s house for a nice evening with my Playshare Preschool Besties when I felt like I was having a heart attack. Over the next few days I got SICK and lost all feeling on my left side. I couldn’t even feel if I was wearing a shirt! I had to look down to see if I put one on!! It was over the next 2 weeks that I really sunk deep into my thoughts. My fears. Alone. I didn’t want to scare anyone so I didn’t let on just how scared and how much pain I was in. I kept up the Christmas spirit. I went hiking for a beautiful Christmas tree, and baked and sledded. All the while thinking something was off but not KNOWING that was the last Christmas I would spend without chronic illness guilt.
My favourite MS influencer, Tripping On Air wrote a blog post the other day, how to deal with Christmas with MS. The key takeaways were 1. cut corners and 2. lower expectations. Yeah so I’m not going to write a post about that. I have no flipping clue how to do that yet! It’s not because I have high expectations that I have to do these things. I love Christmas and I WANT to do the things. All the things. I’m hoping in a few years I can give some really great tips to Moms with young families but right now, I am on a steep learning curve myself.
Everyone keeps telling me to “only do what you can” Ha! Like I have a choice! I know full well that I can’t pull off the Christmas that I want to or that I used to. I just can’t. It breaks my heart to know that my Kids won’t remember their earlier Christmases, the ones filled with an energetic Mom making magic happen all over the place. They will just remember the ones when Mom was in bed. The ones where I plan the fun but don’t have the energy to participate. The ones where Mom is calling it in.
I’m trying to not feel guilty. I mostly just feel sad. I have REALLY been trying to sit in my feelings this week. Take stock. How am I doing, really? As we saw this week with one of my favourite dancers/celebrities tWitch, sometimes you don’t know what’s happening behind the smiles, the motivational quotes and the humour. I really had to think about the sadness that I feel this holiday season.
I am ok.
I will be ok.
AND it’s ok to feel this way. Positive vibes only is NOT a thing. Some days it’s ok to feel sad. To mourn the loss of people and dreams that you had that aren’t realized. I’m looking forward to saying goodbye to 2022 and welcoming the New Year with open arms and an open heart.
Merry Christmas to you and your families! I hope you spend Christmas anyway YOU choose. Opening 100’s of perfectly wrapped presents or 3 presents wrapped in newspaper. Spending it with a big family or a quiet one at home on your own. Doing ALL the things or just doing some of the things OR saying F*** it and ordering out while sitting in your jammies. Whatever Christmas means to you, I hope that is the holiday that you get to enjoy this season ❤️🎄.
Check out How Was Your Week, Honey?Episode #307: Champagne Sabre HERE! This week, we get together after a fun day at a local winery. Topics: Lambrusco Spritz, scotch, Time, Il Mercato, Hallmark, Sybil, Christmas holidays & A Very Special Christmas.
This year my Sis, my MIL and I decided to do a cookie exchange! I thought it would be fun to have a variety of Christmas cookies to choose from over the holidays! I chose two different cookies, one that will satisfy my nieces, and the other to satisfy my father-in-law! My father-in-law has a sweet tooth for desserts, especially desserts from his youth! I have heard him talking about Linzer cookies for years and thought they would be a beautiful addition to our 2022 cookie exchange! In all honesty, while these were being made, I was in bed. I am so incredibly grateful that Ninja doesn’t even question taking over these holiday activities when I stumble. Thank you Ninja ❤️. Both of these cookies look gorgeous and taste amazing too! These are cookies you will be proud to give to friends or excited to gobble up all by yourself!
Adapted from Dessert For Two
¾ cup flour, plus extra for rolling
½ teaspoon baking powder
pinch of salt
¼ cup unsalted butter, softened
¼ cup sugar
1 egg yolk
½ teaspoon vanilla
¼ teaspoon almond extract
1 ½ cups icing sugar
2 teaspoons lemon juice
1 large egg white
1 small tube of black icing for writing
handful mini M&Ms
In a small bowl, whisk together the flour, baking powder and salt.
In your mixer bowl, beat together the butter and sugar. Once light and fluffy, add the egg yolk, vanilla & almond extract.
Once mixed, sprinkle over half the flour mixture and beat gently until combined, then sprinkle over the rest. Beat until no streaks of flour remain, but be careful not to over-mix.
Dust a clean counter top with flour, and dump the dough out onto it. Gather it into a ball and press it into a ½” thick round disk. Flour your rolling pin, then roll out the dough.
Place the cookie sheet in the freezer for the minutes while you preheat the oven to 350.
Once the oven is hot, bake the cookies for 10-12 minutes, until the edges of the cookies just start to turn brown. Let them sit on the sheet a few minutes before moving them a wire rack to cool completely.
In a small bowl, combine the icing sugar and lemon juice.
Beat the egg white in a small bowl and then measure out 2 tablespoons of egg whites and add them to the bowl with the sugar.
Whisk, starting slowly, and the sugar will melt and it will become liquid. Don’t add any more liquid to the bowl, and just keep whisking slowly.
Spoon a small amount onto each cookie, and use an off-set spatula to spread it almost to the edges.
Let the icing harden completely on the cookies.
Pipe two thin black lines onto each cookie, and then press mini M&Ms sideways.
Adapted from Kitchen Fun with My 3 Sons
2 1/2 cups flour
1 1/2 cup icing sugar
1/2 cup butter
2 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
1⁄4 teaspoon salt
1 cup raspberry jam
In a mixing bowl, beat butter and icing sugar. Mix in eggs, vanilla, and salt until combined.
Using a food processor, finely grind slivered almonds and add to butter mixture.
Add flour and mix until thoroughly combined.
Divide dough into 2 discs and wrap in plastic. Place in refrigerator until firm, approximately 4 hours or overnight.
Roll dough. Using medium size and mini size cookie cutters, cut out 2 medium size cookies.
One cookie will be the base for the linzer sandwich. The other cookie will have the center cutout.
Use one mini cutter, cut out 1 centre. Repeat.
Bake at 350° for 8-10 minutes. Set cookies on a wire rack to cool.
Spread jam on each cookie base.
Set all the top cookies on a sheet and dust evenly with icing sugar.
