A man will go to war, fight and die for his country. But he won’t get a bikini wax.
Rita Rudner
I’m the type of person that some may think doesn’t take care of herself.
This is just not true though. I do take care of myself. I try to put healthy things into my body, I drink the appropriate amount of water a day, I do yoga once a day, and I try to get 7 hours of sleep. I just don’t do anything EXTRA LOL.
I don’t do make up, I brush my hair but I only do it for special occasions, and there is certainly no… how should I say it, grooming. 🙂
I’ve seen the pictures of the women that don’t shave their armpits, now I’m not that bad but I have a motto if I can’t see it I don’t touch it LOL. That most certainly goes for my eyebrows! I have never been one to pluck, wax, or really pay attention to the big fuzzy caterpillars above my eyes.
Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the women that do put makeup on and sculpt their hair each morning, that takes a lot of time and effort! Props to you ladies! I appreciate beautiful things, I just don’t do it for myself.
My Mom and my Sister have always been very fastidious about grooming. At least once a year one of them would shame me into getting my eyebrows threaded or waxed LOL.
This brings me to a highly embarrassing story.
I feel like after such a serious post last time you guys deserve to hear this one… spoiler alert this post could be called TMI, if you choose not to be exposed to my private grooming details LOL stop reading now!
So, you are still here.
Don’t say I didn’t warn you 🙂
The first time I got waxed was a week before our wedding.
My Sister came out a week early to help me get things ready, she had no idea that that included a full waxing experience hahaha.
A girlfriend of mine had told me about her grooming specialist and so we decided to give it a try.
Oh my goodness we had that poor lady rolling on the floor in laughter at us. We got our entire legs done, our eyebrows, armpits, and the much dreaded Brazilian!!! My Sister sat there the whole time I was screaming my fool head off snapping pictures of me with my legs spread eagle in the air LOL.
It happened, it was mildly humiliating, and a story that my sister and I have for the rest of our lives 🙂 lol
The next time I tried sugaring. Ninja bought me a spa package where you could choose options and I thought, “sugaring sounds nice let’s give it a try.”
Never again.
We went into this dark the room that was warm in temperature and had spa type music playing almost too loudly to be considered background music. The sugar lady was extremely nice but after 2 hours of her rolling hot sugar on my most delicate parts and ripping each hair out one by one, I came to really hate her. LOL
She had this bright light on an arm that she could pull anywhere. She would put it between my legs and other uncomfortable spots to give her a better look. GROAN! My WpgBesty asked if she had at least bought me dinner before hand ROFL!
I don’t know if it was because I was pregnant with SBean at the time or because she was so thorough, but I hurt for weeks after. It was also one of the most violating experiences of my life. She ripped hair out of places I didn’t even know had hair and when you’re in a warm room and your sweating because you’re so embarrassed, I have to say, everything ummm down there… was just a hot mess. 🙁
It was even worse a year later when I was at the grocery store bagging my groceries and I kept on looking at the woman behind me wondering where I knew her from. Then an image of her pulling down the light of doom to get closer to every inch of my privates parts, popped into my mind, she made eye contact with me and just nodded.
OMG
After that experience I honestly thought I would never put myself through it again.
This past week was HBear’s final day of school. My MBesty and I thought the perfect way to celebrate summer was to take the girls for pedicures 🙂
I don’t know what I was thinking but I thought while I’m here I should get my legs and bikini line waxed. Nothing to horrifying just a little wax to help me feel more confident in my bathing suit LOL
I should’ve known I was in trouble when the pretty Vietnamese lady said “take it all off it’s nothing I haven’t seen before. Now lie down on your back and grab your ankles”
!!!!!!
45 minutes in and I didn’t even question her when she told me to turn over. I did raise my very tender eyebrows when she told me “use your hands and spread them.” I laid there contemplating how low I would go for the sake of not shaving for a few weeks, sensing my hesitation she said “Okay don’t, but this will hurt more”
I spread ’em.
Next she asked “do you want your mustache done?”
Even though my entire body was burning I managed to laugh and say “no thank you I don’t have a mustache.”
Well that must’ve been very funny to her because she laughed very hard and assured me that I do in fact have a mustache.
And there went what little self esteem I had left.
After an hour of all out torture she started pointing to body parts “okay you pay me $25 for legs, $45 for (she actually made air quotes for this LOL) bikini line, $5 for you know… back there, $12 for eyebrows and $5 for the design.”
Design?
At that point I finally glance down to see her handiwork.
I gasped as I realized that I am now the proud owner of a vajay-jay soul patch!
This is the image that went through my mind…
That’s all.
For dinner tonight I decided to do something in the oven. It has been hot here. Like REALLY hot. Today was hot but we had a few thundershowers too. Perfect for Stuffed Chicken, Broccoli & Cauliflower with Beer Cheese Sauce and fresh bread 🙂
***This was AH-MAZING! The best dinner I have made in a while 🙂 My SIL would LOVE this dinner, in fact I am going to make it for her when she visits this summer!
3 chicken breasts
1 container fresh bocconcini
2 roasted red peppers sliced into 1 inch pieces
1 bunch of basil, whole leaves
1/4 cup fresh grated parmesan
1 tablespoon Italian seasoning
1/4 cup fresh grated parmesan
1 tablespoon Italian seasoning
Preheat oven to 400.
Grease a casserole dish.
Butterfly chicken breasts by slicing into the long side of the breast, stopping just about 1/4 of an inch from the opposite side.
Lay chicken breast in casserole dish opened up.
Sprinkle the exposed insides of the chicken breast with 1/2 of the Italian seasoning and salt and pepper.
Stack the roasted red pepper, basil, and 1 slice of the mozzarella on the bottom side of the chicken.
Fold the top flap of the chicken over, tucking in the mozzarella, basil and roasted red pepper as necessary.
Sprinkle with the remaining Italian seasoning.
Bake chicken for 30-40 minutes (until chicken is cooked through).
Pull chicken out of oven and turn the oven to a high broil. Top chicken with remaining mozzarella slices and sprinkle with Parmesan cheese.
Broil until cheese is browned and bubbly, about 5 minutes
Smoky Beer Cheese Sauce
Adapted from The Slow Roasted Italian
¼ cup butter
¼ cup flour
1 teaspoon garlic powder
½ teaspoon smoked paprika
½ teaspoon salt
¼ teaspoon pepper
½ cup beer
½ cup chicken broth
8 ounces mild cheddar cheese, shredded
¾ cup milk
1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
In a medium saucepan over medium-low heat, melt butter. Add flour and whisk; allow flour to cook for 2-3 minutes.
Add garlic, paprika, salt, and pepper. Whisk to combine.
Slowly add beer and chicken broth. Whisk until there are no lumps. Add cheese and whisk constantly until you have a smooth mixture. Add milk and Worstershire.
Reduce heat to low, until ready to serve, whisking occasionally.
