Maple-Glazed Pork Tenderloin… EPIC FAIL!!!!

Seriously though, my cousin is getting married in the summer so she will have a baby soon 🙂 I hope and I mean really really hope that my sister will have another one soon too and give my SweetPea a brother or sister. No matter how scared I was of another horrifying labor, sleepless nights, potty training, teething,or any of that stuff… We just wanted to give HBear everything. We wanted to give her a sibling. 

I have to say it was the best decision we ever made. SBean completes our family. She is affectionate and smart and loving and funny and for the majority of the day and absolute joy to be around. 

 

With that being said OMG SBean OMG. 

 

 

 

Yesterday I was putting in an order with a friend at Epicure and I guess it is a pretty big order and she said “for the total… that will be your first born” and just as I typed “hey want to take my second?” she texted back and said “… and no I don’t want your second born!” LOL. 

I get it. I mean she’s a handful. The man that she sets her sights on well, his fate is already sealed. BAHAHAHAHAHA

 

When I think back to those first 3 days in the hospital it was so quiet and peaceful, we just sat there and bonded. Ninja and HBear, my in-laws, my Dad, all came to visit of course Mom couldn’t because she was doing chemo, but for the most part it was so…

Quiet. 

 

This morning I looked at the clock and it was 6:07 and I thought WOW a sleep-in! I thought to soon apparently because at 6:11 I heard at the top of her lungs a scream and “I STINKY! I STINKY! I STINKY!”

The Bean was awake. 

I walked in and she was standing in the middle of her crib… just in her diaper, which she was trying to rip off because it was very saggy, it was really really full of shit. She had one earring ripped out, her blanket, Elmo, her Blanky and her water bottle (all things she NEEDS to go to sleep) were on the floor and she was screaming at the top of her lungs.

Oh and from her eyebrows to her chin she was dripping in bright green snot!

At this point I look up to the top bunk to see if HBear is miraculously still sleeping through this literal shit show. Believe it or not… she’s not LOL

“Mommy” she croaks, “is it a school day today? Is it day or is it night still?” “It is still night HoneyBear go back to sleep.”

As I clean SBean up I try to remind her what an indoor voice sounds like. She just doesn’t get it. Really. Everything as is at the highest volume. Everything is at a 10, there’s no medium, there’s no quiet, there’s no library voice, there’s no whisper, everything is loud.

Her stages are like this,

When she’s content… she’s pretty loud.

When she’s happy… she’s very loud.

When she’s excited… she’s ear-piercing loud. 

When she’s mad… she’s deafeningly loud.

It’s funny because on my Mom’s side, her mom’s family (my Nana’s) has the crazy gene, I inherited that 🙂 But on my Mom’s Dad’s side (my Poppy’s) 1 out of every 3 are very very loud. They have foghorn voices as we like to say.

Take for example my Uncle Ken he’s a quiet, mild-mannered man on the other hand is my Uncle Robin. Incredibly loud. It’s funny because when we were in Calgary this summer SBean was even louder than usual at my Uncle Ken’s very quiet and serene house. I mean they have a tinkling beautiful fountain and a meditation area!!! SBean was visibly uncomfortable LOL. 

Then we went to Edmonton and we got to my Uncle Robin’s house and right away he took her from my arms and I was like “oh no she’s not gonna go to you!” and he looked at me like I was crazy and said “what do you mean we’re buddies!” and she never left his arms really the entire time?!?!?! It was like their house with 4 dogs, his booming voice and rambunctious grandchildren all of the place was somewhere she felt totally at ease with. She was totally at home lol… It’s all very telling LOL. 

 

Yep, that’s how the mornings usually start.

Loud, full of poop and early.

 

We haven’t left the house in 3 days because we have both been so sick. So today we went out window shopping wink wink. 🙂 We were at Winners and I was singing She’ll be coming around the Mountain and the little shit bit me!

I screamed and twacked her in the cheek an old lady was walking by and I think she wanted to call child services on me but SBean just cackled. 

When we got home for lunch I made her a wrap and strawberries. It is 1 of her favorites but will she eat it? No. It is impossible to get any kind of meat into her. I have to sneak it in and trick her. One of the ladies from my HotLunch Crew sent me a care package today of tea and all these amazing clothes, you see she has 3 daughters and amazing taste and her newest bundle of “joy” is a little boy so my kids reap the benefits. 🙂 Anyways, I turn away for 20 seconds to go through the box and when I looked back she has the entire wrap ripped apart and it’s raining chicken and lettuce and cheese all through the dining room.

It is so freaking nap time. 

Other things she does that make me shake my head…

1. She hides behind the bathroom door sucking on MY toothbrush. Always MY toothbrush.

2. She LOVES picking up the toilet brush and spattering the water driplets all over the wall.

3. She take off her shoes AND socks every time we are in the van. 1 time I had a little Keen hit me in the side of my head. You see having kids is DISTRACTED DRIVING!!!

4. She climbs over the gate and goes up onto HBear’s loft bed. She then proceeds to call “Moooommmmyyyy” and when I come racing in she tries to grab  the chandelier just to see me freak out!

5. She takes apart my tupperware closet at least 2 times a day.

6. Every night after dinner she goes under the sink and gets out the little broom and then crawls under the table to “sweep” really she just brushes her teeth and hair with the gross broom!

7. If I stub my toe or even sneeze she will run to me screaming “OK Mommy? OK?” When I assure her I am OK she rains kisses all over me 🙂 OK so that’s a good one but really she IS a sweetheart that just challenges us all the time sometimes 🙂