All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.
Charles M. Schulz
Happy Valentine’s! I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday. We did…ish. Lol
This week has been rough for me. I don’t know if it is the grey weather or that I just haven’t been feeling 100%?? It could be that a friend of mine has a 16 year old niece fighting cancer and her last scan showed more tumors. Or it could just be that I am missing my Mom something fierce these days. Really, I have to hold back the lump in my throat so often these days.
I don’t know if it’s HoneyBear getting her new glasses or losing her first tooth but I miss my best friend, I miss my Mom.
I just can’t get past the fact that she’s not going to see these milestones.
Twice this week I’ve had 2 of my Besty’s say to me “I wish I had met her”.
It is so weird to me that 2 important ladies in my life didn’t even get to meet her. She died before HBear went to school, before I met any of these wonderful women.
I know I’ve said this all before and I feel like such a whiner.
I think of all of those people dealing with sick children. We have another little girl at HBear’s school who is in kindergarten and has just been diagnosed with cancer. Heartbreaking and scary.
I think of that Mom. I think of women that have lost their husbands. I think of a fellow blogger who writes for Center Cut Cook. They tried and tried and tried to get pregnant and finally after years of trying found out that they were going to be blessed with a little one. The following week her 30-year-old husband was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. A few months after their beautiful baby boy was born, he was rushed into the hospital and diagnosed with a very rare disease and has spent the first year of his life in and out of hospitals waiting for a kidney and a liver transplant.
I think of her… And then my grief doesn’t seem as bad.
But it still is.
I know that I’ve said this so many times before but the lack of control of the situation leaves me very angry and sad. I find myself saying “I just want you to come back.”
I have never wanted something so bad and I’ve never had anything that is so completely impossible, ever. In my whole life it’s always been possible and I hate that this is impossible. I don’t even like saying it out loud because it just cannot happen.
Every day at the end of her nap SBean cries out “Mommy, Mommy I need you.”
I feel like her.
I feel like crying out at the top of my lungs, “Mommy I need you! Come back”
I feel like her.
I feel like crying out at the top of my lungs, “Mommy I need you! Come back”
Dammit why did Caroline Forbes’s Mom have to die of cancer this week???
Yeah I just made a Vampire Diaries reference lol.
So, needless to say I just didn’t get into the Valentine’s spirit this year 🙁
Yesterday I had a little fit because I am just stuck in a food rut. Nothing looks appealing to me. I go to the grocery store and everything is the same. I look at Pinterest and it is all the same stuff as I saw last week.
I know how lucky I am to be a stay at home Mom. I know so many Moms that would give their left foot to be able to stay at home and raise their children, so I don’t want to complain but everyday is Groundhog Day right now. I clean the same things every day. I make lunch, dinner, snacks… Every day.
So yesterday I was feeling sorry for myself until I spent a great day with my family out geocaching 🙂 we even saw the sun which really does make such a difference in my day.
For dinner I had no appetite. Ninja was trying so hard that I dug down and really thought about something I haven’t had in a while… La Casa Ouzeria lasagna!!! Omg the chef Jackie makes THE BEST meat sauce ever! No veggies just cheese, noodles and sauce!
What??? No take out on Valentjnes Day??? Shit. Lol
So tonight that’s what I’m making. Lasagna!
I have decided to get out of my funk!
Later Funk!
I decided this while sitting at the walk in for 2 hours this morning. Last night when I was taking a shower I noticed a red bumpy rash all over my body. As we watched the Oilers get killed again, I started worrying about the rash and being so tired and unmotivated lately. Perhaps I was really sick?
So this morning the rash was still here and looked ugly, so off to the walk in I went.
Turns out I had a reaction to the antibiotic I was on last week!
So now I feel like I am lucky just to be alive and healthy… Feeding and taking care of my family is a privilege so I’m shutting my effing trap LOL
I mean really????
How lucky am I?
🙂
Classic Lasagna
1 1/2 pounds ground beef
1 onion, chopped
4 cloves garlic, chopped finely
1 28 ounce can crushed tomatoes
1 large can tomato sauce
1/4 cup tomato paste
1/3 cup Parmesan cheese, grated
1/3 cup ricotta cheese
1 egg
1 container Philadelphia herb and garlic cooking cream cheese
1 bag Italiano shredded cheese
1/4 cup parsley, chopped
1/4 cup parsley, chopped
1 tablespoon basil
1/2 tablespoon oregano
2 teaspoons sugar
1 Bay leaf
1 box of ready bake lasagna noodles
1 Bay leaf
1 box of ready bake lasagna noodles
Preheat oven to 350.
Cook beef until no longer pink. Drain and set aside.
Add onion and garlic to pan with oil. Cook until onions are translucent.
Add ground beef back to the pan with the onions and garlic. Add tomato paste and mix until thoroughly coated.
Add crushed tomatoes, tomato sauce, basil, oregano, sugar, and bay leaf. Bring to a boil and then turn down heat and simmer for 30 minutes.
In a bowl mix together cream cheese, ricotta, egg, mozzarella, parsley, and a few cracks of fresh ground pepper.
Grease a baking dish and put down noodles.
Cover with a 1/3 of the cheese mixture.
Top with meat sauce
and then sprinkle with shredded cheese.
Repeat 2 more times. End with noodles and the rest of the shredded cheese.
Cover with foil and put into the oven for 1 hour.
Take off foil and cook for an additional 10 minutes.
