Me Too, Dad’s Birthday & Brown Sugar Meatloaf

When you tell your story you not only overcome fear, silence and shame, but you also pave the way. You break down the barriers for those who come after you, who can’t speak.

Mona Eltahawy

This week I have something serious to talk about.

Sexual harassment.

I may have just lost readers by just writing those 2 words. People don’t want to talk about it.

People don’t want to hear about it.

Things like menstruation, menopause, childbirth, and sexual harassment are taboo. It makes people uncomfortable. It makes people defensive. It makes women feel ashamed and embarrassed to talk about their experiences.

There is something going around right now on the Internet that was started by Alyssa Milano, the MeToo initiative. She asked everyone that has ever been sexually assaulted or sexually harassed to type #MeToo on their social media platforms. Women all over the world are doing it! Now everyone can see how many people have been assaulted or harassed in their lifetime.

I want to be honest… I have not typed MeToo on my social media accounts.

Does that mean I’ve never been assaulted/harassed? No it does not. I don’t think there is 1 woman out there that can honestly say “I have never been sexually harassed before.” I think it is bred into our culture and it has been looked upon as “OK“ for so long that most people don’t even consider most sexual harassment even harassment. They chalk it up to so-and-so just being so-and-so, a joke or gawd forbid you are being too sensitive 😳.

I believe it is so important for everybody to stand up and use their voice, so why didn’t I type MeToo? This got me thinking. Again, the same feelings that swept over me when these terrible things occurred swept over me again.

Ashamed.

Self blame.

Anger.

Guilt.

Humiliation.

What constitutes assault?

Was it assault when I was 13 and got picked to drive to the bank with my manager from McDonald’s and he put his hand on my leg as we drove? I didn’t want him to. I liked his wife. Did I say no? No… I was 13 and he was my boss. Is that assault or harassment?

In grade 12 when my ex-boyfriend got drunk and tried to force himself on me that is surely assault right? Everybody told me that I couldn’t look at it like that because he was my ex-boyfriend and once you’ve already said yes… for the rest of the year I had to stand up for myself. The whole school took sides. My little sister was harassed. I was called a slut. Even though I had never even had sexual relations with him when he was my boyfriend… Apparently it was my fault. To this day I still feel guilt.

Is it assault if your Mom’s friend’s teenage daughter is just “exploring“? Is it sexual assault if it’s not a man? Does it count if she didn’t “mean” to sexually assault a 5-year-old girl but was just curious? 30 years later she may have abated her curiosity but I still have terrible memories that I’ve pushed so far back I can’t even tell what is real anymore. Unless I smell musty sleeping bags and then I can remember exactly what happened when that sleeping bag was thrown over me.

Working with a whole sales pit full of men making comments about how women dress, who is fuckable, or how I should wear sexier clothing so that I didn’t look like I had a stick up my ass was just part of my workday. Is it a part of your workday? If it is, I’m sorry because it is mentally exhausting!

Working in restaurants, it is just a natural part of the culture. It is no wonder why most restaurants employees are constantly sleeping with each other! There are constant ass grabs, lingering hands and sexual innuendos that just happen, whether you want it to or not. Is it only harassment if you don’t ask for it? I’m pretty sure most women would rather just go to work and do their jobs without the constant barbs and innuendos. However, then you are told you are a prude or people think you’re a bitch or a snob. You should not be labelled as a bitch because you don’t want to be sexually harassed.

Isn’t that a given?

I was involved in sports as a kid. I dated hockey players. Finding out what was said about my friends and I in “locker room talk” has made me so self-conscious about my body that years later I still feel shy even around my husband! I know he’s not going to go and talk about our sex life to his friends but that fear just doesn’t go away.

I have never felt like a victim. I never never never talk about these instances. I have no need to… I can compartmentalize pretty well. But, with everything that is coming to a head in the world right now I feel like I need to say something. By keeping quiet I am making it harder for my daughters to be open and honest about their future encounters. Perhaps, if everyone says MeToo and everyone out there starts seeing how even, what someone may perceive as an innocent sexual comment, can leave lasting damage… Maybe just maybe we can bring this to the light and change the future for my daughters and all the other young girls out there.

So today I say, not as a victim, but as a survivor, that this stuff happens. To a lot of people. And it needs to stop.

#MeToo.

Thank you to all the women out there posting on their accounts. Thank you for being brave enough to stand up and say something! You are not victims you are heroes. Heroes for waking up every day and putting on your armour to shield yourself from every unwanted comment, unwanted advance, unwanted leer, unwanted nickname, and unwanted extra stress.

Thank you. You are not alone. Your honesty will change the culture and our daughters will hopefully never feel what we have felt over the history of time.

I am hopeful 💛.

On a completely different note, my amazing husband (who I can honestly say I have never seen put a woman in an uncomfortable position because of his words or actions) and I had a fabulous date night this week! You will see all the pictures below but we did a little podcasting when we got home! You can check out episode 36 of How Was Your Week, Honey? Right HERE!

This week was my Dad’s birthday! Another kind and gentle man that I have never seen treat women with disrespect in my entire life. I am very lucky to have such a great example of a man to have raised me. For his birthday I made him a dinner that I detest! In fact, when I was a kid and I came home from school and smelled this… I knew I would be sitting at the table until bedtime with an untouched plate of cold food in front of me. I made him… meatloaf. Just the name sounds absolutely disgusting! Who eats a loaf of meat? Gross. However, I found a recipe that was actually so good… I may even make it again!

Brown Sugar Meatloaf
Adapted from Fox Valley Foodie
Servings: 6
NUTRITION: 365 Calories/serving

1 1/2 lbs ground beef
1 cup panko
1 oz packet onion soup mix
1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
1 egg, beaten
1 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
1 cup milk
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder

1/2 teaspoon dry mustard
1/2 cup ketchup
1/4 cup apple cider vinegar
1/4 cup brown sugar

Preheat oven to 350.

Break up ground beef into small pieces into a large bowl. Add panko, soup mix, Worchestershire sauce, egg, salt, pepper, milk, garlic powder, and mustard to the bowl and gently combine, being careful not to overwork the meat.

Mix ketchup, vinegar and brown sugar together and spread half of the sauce along the bottom and sides of a loaf pan.

Add meatloaf to a loaf pan and press firmly into a loaf shape.

Pour remaining sauce over the loaf.

Place meatloaf in the oven and bake for 1 hour 10 minutes, or until the internal temperature reads 165 degrees.

Let rest for 5 minutes and serve.

Dance class is going well! HBear is really enjoying herself this year. Maybe because she is taking more classes? Maybe she feels more legit? Maybe the others kids think she is more legit? I don’t know but this year she has a confidence, like she feels like she finally belongs 💕.

Like I said before it was Dad’s birthday this week! We already gave him his present earlier, tickets to the Canucks game in Vancouver. So for his birthday it was pretty low key. Meatloaf, bowtie pasta with Alfredo sauce, and veggies. I also bought Dad’s favourite, apple pie, for dessert with Häagen-Dazs Whiskey Truffle ice cream!

SBean is absolutely loving school! Once a week parents are invited into her class to do 1-on-1 reading. She loves to show me around and introduce me to all her new friends.

Ninja and I had Dinner and date night this week! We went to The Nest & Nectar for a delicious dinner! After dinner we joined our host for a fantastic Pre-Prohibition Gin Cocktail Class. It was such fun! We made 3 traditional gin classics and each drink was paired with a mouth watering bite that matched each drink perfectly! Our 1st drink was a Cucumber Kiwi Gin Gimlet which was paired with a Cucumber Coulis. The 2nd drink was a Strawberry Smash paired with a Glazed Strawberry Stuffed with Cream Cheese. Our last drink was a Falling into Daisy and it was paired with a Slow Roasted Ham, Pineapple and Fig bite! It was a truly unique experience and we were home by 9! Such a great night!

SBean is loving skating lessons and this week she actually skated a little bit lol. She has gradually started to glide rather than just walk on the ice. She even went backwards!

HBear had her very 1st swim meet of the year this past weekend! Looking back to her first one last year I can see how very far she has come! She had so much more confidence and she truly enjoyed herself this time! Knowing how the meets work and staying warm in-between races is key! Granda, Grandpa, Papa, Ninja and SBean all came out to watch and she loved it! I marshalled again, which is very difficult because trying to get 200 kids into the right lanes in the right event AND the right heat is like herding freaking cats 😂! It was a great day!