I remember the day I came home and my Mom was sitting on the couch looking like she had been crying. Her hair was a mess and she was wearing her usual cardigan. A few weeks earlier she had gone to the cabin and when she went down the slide into the pool she came out of the water with no peripheral vision. It scared the shit out of her and she came home and got an appointment with the eye doctor right away. To be honest I was like 20 years old and didn’t think much of it because it didn’t directly involve me and I, as I’m finding out, was a horribly self-centred teenager/young adult that didn’t care about any thing that wasn’t happening directly in my tunnel vision 😒. When I got home I was running late between school, friends, maybe work, I don’t remember but she said, “sit down I have something to tell you.” I bet I complained that I didn’t have time but sat down and waited for her to tell me what was up. She had just turned 41 so obviously it wasn’t anything too important, she was young and healthy. When she told me that she had MS, I was scared.
Fast forward 22 years.
Over the holidays I got a pretty yucky flu and began loosing feeling on my left side. On Wednesday I had an MRI and on Thursday the Dr. called. He has set up an appointment with the neurologist because my MRI came back and I have lesions on my brain, neck, and spine down to my C5 vertebrae.
It is Multiple Sclerosis.
We don’t know anything else right now as I’m waiting on a neurologist appointment. I’m in the middle of a flareup which is very restrictive and quite painful. The doctor said it may last 2 to 6 weeks. Back when my Mom was diagnosed we didn’t have information at our fingertips like we do today. In fact, at that time they honestly didn’t know a lot about MS and a lot of the drugs and treatments were experimental. I am hopeful and positive as research has come a long ways since Mom was diagnosed over 20 years ago and I’m looking forward to making a plan and doing whatever I need to do to live a long and healthy life!
Telling the Girls was scary and hard. Ninja did a great job and took the lead and was very matter-of-fact about the disease, answering the science questions with hope but also with factual information. I could see tears starting to bubble up in SBean’s eyes, I asked her if she was scared and she started crying. We had lots of hugs as I reassured her that we found out very quickly and we are already on the path to figuring out a plan on how to manage this so I can get back to normal life as soon as possible. I explained to them that each time I have a flareup it may leave permanent damage … Or may not. We don’t know yet but we need to think positive thoughts and help each other out right now. HBear was quiet. Too quiet. Her mental health journey has been going so well and I really don’t want this to set her back in the progress she has made. We had already reached out to her therapist and asked what the best way to approach everything would be and we are hoping that by having open communication with all of her support systems that she will be OK. We are keeping a close eye on both of them.
I told them that whatever feeling they feel is ok. They can even feel anger. Anger at me, anger at the situation, anger because it’s not fair… whatever. It is ALL allowed. I asked SBean if she told her Besty/Cousin SPea and she was like, “NO!” She said she didn’t want to talk to anybody about it except Ladybug, her stuffy. This sent my heart racing! I explained to her that everybody needs someone to talk to and although Ladybug is a great listener he is not enough. I told her she needed to give me one name of someone she trusted enough to be open and honest with and able to talk with about her feelings. She finally agreed and said she can only talk to her Sister. I talked to HBear about this and she feels great being SBean’s person and wants to take a more active role in helping me and Ninja with work and around the house.
It’s a lot. I thank everybody for reaching out! The amount of love I have been shown in the past 2 weeks is unbelievable and so humbling! I appreciate every message, every bit of the love sent my way, I feel the positive vibes and I am so very appreciative of all of your kind words. I will try to keep you all updated with my progress here in the blog. Sometimes I may have down moments as dealing with something that is completely out of my control is pretty frustrating 😬 but just know that I am confident that with Ninja’s unwavering support, all the love my family is surrounding me with, and all of the thoughtfulness my friends are providing, I will get through this, with your help. I know that this isn’t something that can be cured and there is no endgame but I am confident that once I learn more, things will be OK. This is my journey and I can’t change it but I am going to manage it the best way that I can!
💛
Honey Glazed Pork Chops with Mushrooms
Adapted from Spend With Pennies
1 tablespoon oil
1 tablespoon butter
1 cup mushrooms, sliced
1 clove garlic, minced
4 pork chops
½ cup white wine
½ cup honey
¼ cup Dijon mustard
⅓ cup chicken broth
Place butter and oil in a large skillet over medium high heat.
Add mushrooms and season with salt and pepper. Cook for 3 minutes or until golden, then transfer to a bowl.
Season pork on both sides with salt and pepper. Place in the skillet and cook for 3 minutes on each side, or until golden and cooked to your taste. Remove into a plate.
Add white wine to skillet. Cook for 1 minute, scraping the bottom of the skillet. Add remaining ingredients and mix.
Simmer for 2 minutes or until it reduces. Return mushrooms to the sauce. Adjust salt and pepper to taste.
Serve pork, topped with the honey glaze and mushrooms.
This week I didn’t take many pictures. My thoughtful friend dropped me off a care package, I tried doing yoga, and Ninja started our taxes in between EVERYTHING else is has been doing! I received a beautiful flower and balloon from an anonymous friend, Ninja bought me McCain’s chocolate cake to cheer me up 😂 and I had some pretty special views from my bedroom 💛.
