The turning point in the process of growing up is when you discover the core of strength within you that survives all hurt.
Max Lerner
I had a few things happen this week that I believe will help transition me to the next phase of my diagnosis. Learning to live with it. The first significant event was going up to the Lakeside Cemetery and having a good long chat with my Mommies.
It’s been a few months in the making but I finally got up the energy and courage to do it. For a while there I couldn’t drive myself and then the thought of going up and telling her about my diagnosis made me very emotional. I know it’s not my fault. I know that this isn’t something I could protect myself from. However, I know how disappointed my Mom would be in knowing that I have been diagnosed with the same disease that was so debilitating to her. Just talking to her about the past few months really made me feel better though. Which in turn reminded me that my life would be easier to handle if she was here helping me. I mean, if a chat at her gravesite can alleviate so much of my pain imagine what it would be like if she was here to give me a hug? I imagine it every day.
The second major change I made is, I went back to work! I’m only on day 2 but so far so… goodish 😂.
I did not take on my whole schedule and after 2 days realistically I don’t think I will be able to. However, even though I am completely out of shape, haven’t been out of bed for a full day in 5 months 😂 and still getting used to my symptoms, I feel like this is a major accomplishment! I am doing it! A few weeks ago, hell a few days ago I didn’t know if that would be a possibility. Now that I have 2 rounds of the infusion behind me, I feel like I need to look towards the future and realistically figure out what I am able to do. I need to get a baseline of where I stand. Realistically this is a degenerative disease. We are hoping that the infusion will eliminate any future relapses but the symptoms I have now… Aren’t going away. I need to learn to live with them. I need to find out how far I can push myself.
That is really scary. I’m terrified of pushing myself into another relapse. I’m scared that I’m using up all of my energy and will have none left for my family.
So here I am. I can sit in a funk and cry about the what ifs or I can run with the feeling that I had after visiting Mom. That is what I have decided to do. I felt a sense of peace letting her know what was going on. I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I felt like she was there and was assuring me that this wasn’t my fault and that she wasn’t disappointed in me. I felt her resilience penetrate me and it gave me this feeling of confidence, that I can do this, that I will do this.
This is the second phase of my diagnosis. The phase where I learn to live with it and thrive. Thank you for all of your messages of reassurance, encouragement, and support. I feel you all right there beside me, just like my Mom, cheering me on. Thank you 💛.
Check out How Was Your Week, Honey? Episode #274: F#@k Off and Get Out of My Room HERE! This week we get together to discuss life with a teen! Topics: gaining weight, ER visit, back talk, cactus foot, Hockey finales, Jazz Band & sharing songs.
Now that I’m up and moving or at least a bit more 😂 it’s easier to wrap my head around menu planning again. This week we have had a ton of sunshine and it has truly felt like spring so I made a delicious spring time pasta for dinner yesterday! This is a super simple pasta recipe that uses frozen peas and in my case, leftover asparagus! Ninja made us a delicious roast beef dinner on Saturday and we had a ton of already cooked asparagus left over! I chopped it up and threw it into the pasta and it was delicious! We are also planning on having chicken Caesar salad later this week so I took out a pack of bacon so that I could add some to the pasta and use the rest for bacon bits later in the week! This dish is an all around winner! Light and creamy, salty and delicious and with all those spring veggies in there, you don’t mind going up for seconds!
Creamy Spring Time Pasta
Adapted from Recipe Diaries
6 slices bacon, chopped
4 cloves garlic, minced
10 ounces dried pasta
2 cups chicken broth
1 1/2 cup water
1/2 teaspoon Italian seasoning
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon pepper
1 cup frozen peas
1/2 cup heavy cream
1/2 cup Parmesan cheese, grated
In a large deep skillet cook the bacon until crisp. Remove the bacon and set aside.
Don’t drain the grease. Stir in garlic; cook and stir for 30 seconds more. Add in pasta, broth, water, Italian seasoning, salt, and pepper. Bring to boiling; reduce heat. Simmer, covered, for 12 to 15 minutes or until pasta is tender, stirring once.
Stir in peas, heavy cream, bacon, and Parmesan cheese.
Cook and stir about 2 minutes more or until heated through.
Last Monday we received a very special box in the mail! It came from Winnipeg from my InstaBesty! She wanted to spoil me, HBear, and SBean with beautiful make up products, tools, and perfumes! She loves beauty products and wanted to share her passion with us so we could know more about her 💛. She specifically took what she knows about each of us to find special scents that we would enjoy. SBean has been in her absolute glory! Every day she puts on a little bit of perfume and feels so special!
I had my second infusion this past week as well! Now that I have done 2 rounds, I have noticed that by the fourth day of recovery I begin to feel myself again. However, those first 4 days is a lot of rest and recuperation. I got a scratch on my foot the other day. Could’ve been the dog or it could’ve been a little cacti cluster I walked into but after a day I noticed that my foot was throbbing like crazy! It was swollen and red so I put some Polysporin on it and it cleared right up. However, this is a good reminder to myself that my immune system is down and any slight infection could be dangerous. I need to start looking after myself like I would look after my kids! Wow, eye-opener! 😂
It’s always hard to do yoga after infusion therapy but I still managed to get some nice stretching in even though I had to sit down on the bed to do it. It was worth it 💛. We have been having beautiful weather & SBean and I have been taking the opportunity to do some more reading… Outside. Look up SBean! 😂 Oliver is becoming more used to our walks to pick up SBean from school and I was able to fully enjoy the spring blooms around our neighbourhood! This past week we finally got to see HBear and her jazz band perform live! The last time we saw them perform was in grade 6! In fact at that time HBear had just received her instrument and they were in concert band! On Thursday we got to watch her play her trombone and the drums in a fantastic set with the grade 8 Jazz Band and we were SO proud to see her improved skills and how much fun she was having up there!
SBean & SweetPea had a weekend sleepover and we finally got to go to the movies together! We had planned on having a pyjama party at the theatre to see Sing 2 but because I was sick, that didn’t happen. So, we went to see the new Bad Guys movie instead! It was pretty great!
On Sunday we met my Sis and the family in Peachland for a walk along the beach. I am so happy that we get to do these things now! We haven’t seen each other as much as I would like due to unforeseen circumstances but hopefully moving forward this can be a regular occurrence… Because we live beside each other! And we can 💛!
This week was the end of the regular season of NHL and the wrapup of all of our hockey pools! Congratulations to my Dad and SBean for picking the number 1 team in our annual family hockey pool! Congratulations to Ninja for beating me in our Stanley Cup hockey pool and sadly after cleaning up in the regular season 4th Line Hockey Pool I was up against my RASBesty and when it came down to the nitty-gritty, he inched out the win! All 3 pools were incredibly fun though, congratulations to all the winners!
To end the week or begin the next which ever way you are looking at it 😆, I Registered HBear for HIGH SCHOOL!!! What??? That seems cray cray! Where does the time go? 💛
